The Healing power of boudoir photography
by Francesca Flansburg
“As my sufferings mounted I soon realized that there were two ways in which I could respond to my situation- either to react with bitterness or seek to transform the suffering into a creative force. I decided to follow the latter course.”
Collectively, we have been through a lot. I often think of the quote from Damian Barr about being on different boats through a common storm. The past few years have looked very different for each of us. But lately, in my everyday interactions, I am hard-pressed to find people who AREN’T struggling with one thing or another. Health issues, money problems, racism, isolation, mental health concerns, conflicting beliefs and divisiveness, disconnection, inequity, violence, fear, and abuse in many forms. Whoa…who couldn’t use some healing right about now?
Healing is a funny thing. It’s an active and a passive process at the same time. Passive in that giving ourselves time, rest, and the space to just “be” can be essential to the healing process. It usually does not serve us to go-go-go without also carving out some time to sit and allow the painful thoughts to surface. You know what they say about the only way out being through? Well, learning to sit with discomfort has been an invaluable tool in my belt. It doesn’t feel good, and that’s okay! It’s sometimes necessary to be in those feelings.
“Healing takes courage, and we all have courage, even if we have to dig a little to find it”
The active part of the healing process takes courage. As someone who works in the field of mental health, I am a huge fan of seeking support through counseling and therapy. If you think about it, admitting that you need a little help is one of the bravest things one can do. And now? Now you’re taking action. Other action steps toward healing include:
Connection - make time for and surround yourself with people who build you up not tear you down.
Get out in nature - take a walk, sit by a stream, go for a hike…
Laughter and joy - seek it out!
Creative expression - visual art, music, dance, theater, writing (journaling), or any other form of expressing yourself creatively (you know, like photography…wink wink…we’ll get to that!).
Move your body - walk, dance, run, skip, bike, stretch, skate…doesn’t matter.
Learning - listen to podcasts, read, attend a lecture, watch videos. You can learn something completely new and different, or focus your learning on the healing process.
Focus on gratitude - start a journal or just think of a few things to be grateful for each day.
Pet therapy - visit a shelter or love on your own furry (feathery, scaley) friends.
Meditation - learn about it, try it, even one or two minutes a day!
Create a self-care routine
Focus on healthy eating and/or drinking more water
Learn about aromatherapy and use essential oils
“Our wounds are often the openings into the best and most beautiful part of us”
In my experience, using boudoir or intimate photography as a step on the path toward healing is about as powerful as it gets. But don’t just take it from me. Past clients, Cindy, Brittany, and Missy tell their stories in previous posts. From start to finish, the process of moving through your own boudoir or intimate photo experience is a healing one. And here’s why:
First of all, making the decision to schedule your own session is simply a way to take action toward healing.
At BSNY, we want to know your story. We will help you acknowledge and express yourself in a way that honors your story, whatever that may be.
By planning your own session, you take power and control over the story you want to tell. Maybe you change the story a bit to suit your needs. Bottom line? You have the power.
Through the process, you are likely to learn about yourself and gain a new perspective, seeing yourself in a way you’ve never seen yourself before!
Reclaim your body, your beauty, your aliveness, your sensuality, your sexuality, your uniqueness.
Develop parts of yourself that you haven’t yet let shine!
Find a way to feel and be visible and truly seen if and/or when you have felt lost, neglected, forgotten, or misunderstood.
Begin to feel at home in your own skin. Begin to truly love and accept your miraculous body for all it has done - and continues to do - for you.
Join a safe space in which to discover and cultivate your true, transformative self (visit us in our Facebook group, The Boudoir Lounge, if you haven’t already done so!)
Reclaim your physical body during or after an illness, injury, or other physical trauma.
Turn hesitation and fear into bravery and empowerment. You are capable. You are brave. Believe it!!!
At the end of the process, you will have beautiful, sexy images that represent your courageous choice to do something bold and powerful. No one will ever be able to take that from you…
“Life is a journey, not a destination”
“Healing may not be so much about getting better, as about letting go of everything that isn’t you - all of the expectations, all of the beliefs - and becoming who you are.”
To me, this next point is crucially important when considering the healing process. Are we ever truly “healed” from anything? Or are we simply evolved, changed somehow…transformed? Can we ever go back to a previous state of being? The human experience will ALWAYS feel like a roller coaster of ups and downs. So why not embrace the ride?
“No man ever steps in the same rivier twice, for it’s not the same river and he’s not the same man.”
“Some people see scars, and it is wounding they remember. To me they are proof of the fact that there is healing.”
I’d like to close by acknowledging that we are all PERFECTLY imperfect. We all carry our unique burdens, seeking to heal and recover from past trauma, illness, or loss. We are ALL beautiful. We are ALL powerful. We get scared, we get angry, we get hurt, we get down. We can get back up. Here at BSNY, we can help you tell and/or recreate your story, reclaim yourself, move along in that process toward healing, and GET. BACK. UP.
For an urgent mental health concern, please call 911, the Mobile Crisis Team (585) 529-3721, or Lifeline (585) 275-5151