Got Boudoir Anxiety?
by Jillian Doores
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There is no doubt that doing a boudoir session can bring a healthy dose of anxiety for any client who may walk through our door. For some, it may have a constant presence. For others, boudoir anxiety can appear anytime between your initial discovery call to waiting to see your final images.
If we were to try to describe what overcoming boudoir anxiety is like, we’d compare it to jumping into an ice-cold body of water, especially when you're not sure that you even want to jump in. You can breathe rapid heavy breaths, you can jump up and down, you can even supercharge your self-talk. However, nothing you do will magically get your body ready for the sudden change in temperature once you jump in the water.
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The truth is. . . we could tell you all of our success stories. I could tell you all the ways we will support you, little tips to help ease the nerves, reassure you. It all starts with a Discovery Call. Then we have an in-person shoot planning session. A few days before your photo day we have a pre-session zoom chat to make sure you feel prepared for your session. On the day of the session, we take time to do on-set styling and go over your outfits. Our hair and makeup stylists get you ready for the camera. All of these steps ease you into the shoot itself.
But the reality is… until you’ve experienced it, my words are simply just that - words.
Even with all of our guides, meetings, kind words, boudoir anxiety may whisper in your ear as soon as you arrive asking you…“What were you thinking?”
“Will…all this… work for me?”
That is the moment where you just have to jump in the cold water. We are not silly people to tell you it's easy and it will just be so much fun! Yes, you will get there, but, not initially. . .
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In the moments just before you come out of the changing room. . . you may experience a physical anxiety response. Many women have butterflies in their stomachs, feel a little sweaty, maybe even are physically shaking. The strength and bravery it takes to pull back the curtain and step out is powerful. After taking that leap into the metaphorical cold water, you need to acclimate to the temperature before you can move freely and comfortably.
Know that it will be ok.
Everything will turn out well and you got this!
You have to jump in and trust the process and know that we will guide you through it. You have to embrace the nerves and accept that it's all a part of the journey and you chose to move forward anyway.
You may be wondering when this trust will happen for you?
When will my nerves dissipate?
When will I believe that I can do this?
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The answer is a little bit different for everyone. I will say that you will most likely be acclimated within the first 15 minutes. . .
When you are finally in the world of the known.
What we mean by that is finally you are present, in this scary moment that you have previously only imagined in your head. There will be no more fear of the “unknown” because it’s happening at that very moment. You are present, and after a few minutes of being in front of the camera, following the instructions, and seeing what you look like... well, this has been described by other clients as life-changing. You see yourself in a way you may have never imagined yourself looking before. Exponentially beautiful. Then and only then is when the butterflies of this "boudoir anxiety" seem to fly away.
For the time being or the rest of the session, you realize you don't have to do anything to look beautiful or sexy in front of the camera!
We are giving you all the instructions and all you have to do is trust the process and follow the instructions. Once you see the result of it on the back of the camera, your body finally gets "acclimated" to this boudoir environment. Only then does your body and mind relax into the whole experience.
That's the “ah-ha" moment when you know that you got this and that this possibly can even be so much fun!
We share these scenarios with you. . . because we want you to know that it's ok to be the person who gives all your trust in the first 15 minutes, or not until at the end of the shoot, and it's ok to be the person who gives it in little pieces but doesn’t give it all until the entire journey has come full circle.
There is no right or wrong here. It comes down to you stepping outside your comfort zones, doing something that is both exciting and vulnerable. Everyone has their own story as to why they need a boudoir shoot. Each of our hesitations, insecurities, and forms of boudoir anxiety are personal to us and therefore we overcome boudoir anxiety at different times.
The truth is, nothing can get you ready for that, “ah-ha" moment except for the act of simply jumping in. So if you think that this is an experience that could be of benefit to you, if you believe you need to find your inner sexy and reclaim the power of your own femininity, then you are ready and all you have to do now is dive.
You got this! We got you!
Take the dive into the icy waters and we will be there to coach you the entire time!
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