The magic of couples boudoir (and some ideas for how to ask your partner to join you!)
by Francesca Flansburg
Is there a special someone in your life? Maybe someone you love who gets your juices flowing and butterflies fluttering? Perhaps someone whose love reaches the depths of your soul…or maybe someone you just can’t keep your hands off of? Imagine preserving that passion and love in gorgeous images that last forever
“Photography is a way of feeling, of touching, of loving. What you have caught on film is captured forever...it remembers little things, long after you have forgotten everything”
So…are you in on wanting to experience the magic of couples boudoir?? Okay! Let’s goooooo! Now that you’re ready to embark on this beautiful & bonding adventure with your partner, how do you get your sweetheart to say yes? Although we can’t guarantee that they will, following these guidelines is likely to greatly improve your odds:
First step: Do your research and schedule your discovery call to learn all about the process. This way, when your darling has questions, you have the answers.
Next, set aside some time to sit down with your partner for a distraction-free heart-to-heart.
Now that you have their attention, briefly tell them what you want to do. Let them know what you love about them and why signing up for a couples shoot together is important to you.
Stop talking and listen. Really listen to how your mate feels about it. Be sure not to belittle or refute their feelings. Consider paraphrasing what they said to make sure that they know they’ve been heard. If they’re on board…great! You can start planning your outfits and getting some ‘practice’ (wink wink) in your spare time. If they need a little more encouragement, read on.
Whatever you do, don’t argue or yell at your partner. Remember what they say about catching flies…honey, not vinegar.
If they haven’t given you reasons why they are hesitant or reluctant, gently ask if they can share their reasons with you. Once again, kindly listen.
Now present them with the following solutions to address their hesitation.
Show your partner the images of our lovely couples and let them speak for themselves! You, too, can look just as steamy and sensational! Some men might think that a couples shoot would be hokey or corny, but these images will show them otherwise.
Appeal to your love’s character. Tell them how much you appreciate their bravery, sex-appeal, or willingness to try new things. Be genuine and give them the compliments they deserve.
Be sure to emphasize that you can decide as a couple how far you want to go- how much or how little to show. Allow your partner to stay within their comfort zone.
Be willing to compromise with your partner. If they aren’t comfortable going as far as you are, allow them to be photographed more modestly while you bare more. Smokin’ hot!!!
Emphasize that you will be creating a lasting testament of your love and passion together.
When expressing your wishes, be sure to use both emotion and logic. For example, “I just love us, and it would mean the world to me if we could do this together (emotion). Plus, we will get to spend some quality time together and have something lasting to show for it (logic).”
Remind your honey that creating shared memories and engaging in novel, exciting experiences together builds emotional intimacy and strengthens your bond.
Creating these images together can be a way to express who you are together, as a couple.
Think about offering something in return! Maybe you agree to try something new that your honey has been wanting to do for awhile.
If you are trying to convince your man that this is a great idea, let him read Jamie’s blog post, An Erotica Photo Shoot? But I’m A Man!
Offer to practice and play with your own mini shoot at home! Not only could this prepare you for the real thing, but it sure could be fun to experiment and see where it leads (wink wink, again).
Above all, do not pressure your partner. Respect their feelings and allow them to say no. If they just aren’t ready, schedule a shoot for yourself! Once they hear about your incredible experience and see your amazing images, perhaps they will come around.
“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”
