Wonder Woman: Messy to Mindset Master

By: Jes Lyn

Intro by Jill:

What is a Wonder Woman? She is so much more than just a guest blogger. . . she is opening up the world to her story of challenges and regrowth. Jes Lyn is no stranger here at The Boudoir Studio, she has done 2 boudoir sessions, a fitness photoshoot, and a branding session for her new business! Her inspiring story takes us through how she has overcome a difficult relationship, put an end to partying, is now managing multiple businesses and finally mastering her mindset. She is living proof that anyone can change their life to create more abundance and joy for themselves. Here’s what she has to say:

I am the perfect example of someone you would never think would be doing what I am doing. My past has been super messy. It's one of those things where things happen for us and not to us. When you are in it you feel like everything is happening to you. . . but now I look back on everything that happened and what led me up to this point and I am so grateful for everything that I went through and the specific situations that I put myself in! Because it has allowed me to become a mentor and life leader for other people.

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I am an open book

“When I was 3 years old, I was watching my mom go through the checkout at the grocery store and she was getting funny looks. I remember seeing the fear on her face, wondering if she could pay for this.”

My biological father committed suicide. So I don’t know a lot about my biological father’s side of my family. I was raised primarily by my grandparents because my mom was a single mother at the time, before she met her new husband. She was on welfare while she was trying to put herself through college. This means that my grandparents took care of me a lot while she was going through school. I watched my mom struggle. One of my earliest memories, when I was 3 years old, was watching my mom go through the checkout at the grocery store and she was getting funny looks. I remember seeing the fear on her face, wondering if she could pay for this. What she went through just kind of stuck with me, especially because I was a little kid. When my mom met my dad, there was a big transition. He and I were never super close, up until recently. So they got married and we moved to a new town and a new school district. In elementary school I always struggled with my weight. I was always picked on as a kid for being overweight and not only that, I was the new girl in my school.

Leading into high school, I lucked out that puberty worked in my favor. I left that summer to stay with my grandmother in Florida andwhen I returned for school, all of a sudden all of the guys wanted to date me. I looked like a different person. I was no longer picked on for how I looked. This seemed great; however, I still had a lot of self-confidence issues. I would look into the mirror and still pick myself apart. I never felt like I was good enough. I would look at other girls that I was on sports teams with and compare myself all the time.

When I was in college, I decided before my final year that I was not going to end my college treating myself how I was. I decided to stop beating up who I saw in the mirror. So I made a commitment to go all-in on a fitness program and I got amazing results. I lost 19 pounds in 60 days and went back to college for my senior year. I was unrecognizable to myself. I loved it. I loved what I saw in the mirror, I wasn’t comparing myself to other girls. But then I became a huge party girl. So my senior year of college I went from being the kind of girl who was driven and had vision into what she wanted her life to be like, to now only caring about partying.

I still managed to graduate with a degree that I was not inspired by at all. Originally I had been a vocal education major but I hated the polices behind teaching and quickly found out within one semester that this was not for me. So I changed my major three times and transferred colleges twice. I graduated, which was great. I had three different degrees - a bachelors in political science, minor in English, and an associates in business - but none of which I was passionate about. So I moved in with my boyfriend at the time I, whom I had met within the last 6 months of college.

“It was just an absolute downward spiral and I didn’t know how to get myself out of it and I was just miserable with how my life took a turn in my career. . .”

He was also a big partier

I was thousands of dollars in student loan debt and pretty soon after moving in with him, we were partying almost every single night of the week. It wasn’t just drinking. We started using cocaine and then the cocaine wasn’t just once a week, it started being 3-4 times a week. I would be staying up until 3:30 am and then head to my corporate job by 6:00 am. It was just an absolute downward spiral and I didn’t know how to get myself out of it. I was just miserable with how my life took a turn in my career. I was still drowning in debt, a lot of that was self-inflicted with where I was choosing to spend my money. I started to reflect on my boyfriend. I knew I was in love with this person, however, I was starting to believe that he may not be the best for me.

My health started to decline

About a year after I moved in with my boyfriend, I ended up getting sick. I immediately stopped my partying habits, I stopped doing coke, I stopped going out and drinking. Throughout this whole process, I had lost a lot of weight but I had also lost a lot of my friends. This was because a lot of my friends partied, so once I had stopped, I was out of my social circle. After a month of abstaining from everything, I didn’t get better. I started going to the doctors and they couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me. It took 6 months of MRI’s, EKG’s, EEG’s, and thousands of dollars in medical bills for them to determine that I had an autoimmune disease.

“I want other women to know their past doesn’t have to define their current circumstances or where they want to go in their life. . .”

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The only thing to help keep an autoimmune disease at bay is proper fitness and nutrition. I reached out to a local Crossfit gym to get myself back in order and as soon as I walked in, I felt loved by the community. I was welcomed, I felt like I belonged somewhere. I felt like I didn’t have to be someone that I wasn't. Within a couple of months of joining that gym, I was really focused on a paleo diet, and my life completely turned around. I started thinking that maybe my purpose in life was to start to share this with other people. I wanted other women to know their past doesn’t have to define their current circumstances or where they want to go in their life.

“As soon as I joined, it immediately caused conflict with my boyfriend at the time. He was still really involved with partying and it had escalated from coke to crack and it was hard because he just wasn’t ready to give that all up yet. . .”

So I wanted to become a personal trainer.

Looking to get certified as a personal trainer, I was introduced to my up-line. Now I earn my full-time income through network marketing as a Beach Body coach. I was honestly not any type of coach-like material when I first joined. I had no idea what I was doing, I had a barebones knowledge of health and fitness, and I started this journey right after one of the worst points of my life. I met my up-line and she was just so inspiring. She had such a passion for her life and was on fire. As soon as I joined, it immediately caused conflict with my boyfriend. He was still really involved with partying and it had escalated from coke to crack and he just wasn’t ready to give that all up yet. We eventually called it quits and broke up. He moved out and I was just ready to pour into this business. At the time I was working my corporate job, 2 part-time jobs and had just started as a Beach Body coach. It was time to go all-in on this because God gave me this opportunity for a reason: to share this with the world. I wanted to be the reason why someone's life could change.

My boyfriend and I had been broken up for around 3-4 months when one day I got a message from his mom. She said that he had been sober for a month and had started going to church. She wanted me to talk to him, he has 2 daughters from a previous relationship and they were missing me. So, of course, I started talking to him again, and he ended up staying sober for 2 and 1/2 years.

I became a mom unexpectedly.

During those 2 and 1/2 years, I ended up getting pregnant with my daughter. She was not planned- a total surprise. So now I was still working my corporate job, 2 part-time jobs and building my network through Beach Body coaching. I had just received my certification as a personal trainer and a week later I found out that I was pregnant. Here I am. . . you have got to be fucking kidding me. It felt like I took one step forward and two steps back. Somehow, my Beach Body business continued to grow and by the time my daughter was born I was able to give my resignation to my corporate job because of the income I was earning through Beach Body. It was an enormous goal because then I could stay home with my daughter. One year later, I was able to say goodbye to those 2 part-time jobs. In 2017, I was officially a full-time Beach Body coach making what could realistically be my only income.

At the end of last year, when my daughter was 6 months old, my ex started drinking again. That’s when I started to realize that maybe I should start preparing for a future where he would not be in it permanently. I started to think in terms of what would be best for my daughter and I, and whether this relationship would serve my highest good in the future. So my new motivation for moving forward every single day was to earn enough money where I could leave him and be able to provide for my daughter and myself.

The all-time low.

In January, I hit another really low point in my personal life. I was thinking that I can’t be in this relationship anymore, but I was not in the place financially where I thought I would be. I ended up parting ways with him but my Beach Body business was at an all-time low. I was debating quitting my dream job because I felt like I should be earning 6 figures a year but currently was only earning 5 figures a year. I worked my ass off to be a full-time Beach Body coach, working close to 16 hours a day/7 days a week on my business. I was missing out on moments with my child, I was not being present with my family and was not doing things that brought me joy. Sure, I was hustling my ass off to earn enough money where I could support my daughter and me, but I wasn’t able to have time for myself and the things that I love. I remember thinking, I cannot do this this way any longer because it does not bring me joy and this is not why I wanted to do this. I cried on my couch every day for a week and then made a decision.

Not ready to give up, I hired a mentor completely outside of Beach Body which cost almost $1,500. SO I was a newly single mom, with $29,000 in debt, a mortgage, and all of these bills, but not enough to pay down my debt. This mentor was my last shot. I invested the final amount of space on my credit card to hire this person.

Within 2 months of hiring my mentor, I was doing less work and seeing my income grow so much faster then it had ever had before. When I saw all these changes that were happening in my life by implementing these things that I was learning from my mentor, I was like Oh my gosh, the world needs to know about this stuff. My Beach Body business was starting to grow again, I was attracting more of my literal dream clients than ever before and growing my income. All of a sudden I saw a lot of the people I know reaching out to my mentor and signing up with her and they were seeing these shifts in their business. I thought, you know what, I can talk about this all the time! My mentor even suggested that I do what she does because I'd seen such massive shifts from working with her, maybe it is not the craziest thing to give it a shot! So I did.

I became a mindset mentor.

Today I help my clients get more aligned with their frequency and their energy so that they can start attracting their dream clients or start building their businesses so they can honor their highest good and purpose. When we start building businesses, often we have this preconception that we need to do more and work more, and if you’re not hitting your goals you’re not doing enough. But a lot of times it has nothing to do with our actions but has everything to do with our intentions behind the actions that we are taking. Doing these actions out this mindset of “I don’t have. . . '“ and “I want. . . ” instead of “This makes me feel good and brings me joy.” So I help my clients by showing them the power of gratitude, teaching them about the law of attraction, how to elevate their frequency, and how to speak to their dream clients so they can build their business and start seeing a life of joy, balance, and abundance. Instead of hustle and lack.

“ I totally identify as a “hot mess mom”. I still cuss, I have no patience, but you know, I am who I am but I also think that all of this makes me more relatable. . .”

But when we start really implementing an actual gratitude practice, and we start really focusing on the little things in our lives, the things that we do have, instead of what we don’t have. . . that is when we start to attract better things into our lives. For example, when I find a penny on the floor, I treat that penny like I just found a million dollars. When someone gives me a coupon or a compliment, I treat that compliment like I just won the lottery. Two years ago, if this had happened, yeah, I would be grateful but I would have been like “Oh my god thank you,” then moved on with my day. Now, if someone goes and grabs vegetables from their garden and just gives it to me, it’s the highlight of my day. It's important to focus on how magical a kind gesture is and appreciate how abundant the world that we live in really is. Once you start appreciating the small acts of kindness, you would be surprised how much you can attract more of that in your life.

So often we see people brushing off these simple joys and just focusing on what is the next goal and rushing into the next step. Gratitude allows you to become more present in the moment of each day. By no means am I perfect at being present. I will be the first to tell you that I am often late everywhere I go. When I tell you I will be there at 5:00 you bet your ass I will be there at 5:30! I totally identify as a “hot mess mom”. I still cuss, I have no patience, but you know, I am who I am. But I also think that all of this makes me more relatable. I am, after all, a single mom who runs 2 businesses at home with a very active 3-year-old and sometimes shit just hits the fan. I have just learned how to master my mindset and not let these things control my whole day now. I understand, and say to myself, “Yeah, maybe that didn’t go as planned, but so many other amazing things did go well in my day”. This kind of mentality has really shifted everything in my life.

“My story is messy, and it is kind of all over the place but it goes to show you it doesn’t matter where you started or what is happening in your life right now. We have the complete control to change it and all it takes is being intentional every single day to who you are, to your highest good and what your ultimate vision is.”

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The biggest shift in this last year is that I have been able to successfully launch a business and had my very first 5 figure MONTH! I was able to sell my house, I moved, and now I have full custody of my daughter and I am now at the point where I can pay for childcare so I can continue to grow. All of these things, I could not even imagine being able to do 1 year ago. I have completely updated my life and now I am even 100% debt-free. I paid off $29,000 of debt in one year. My story is messy, and it is kind of all over the place but it goes to show you it doesn’t matter where you started or what is happening in your life right now. We have the complete control to change it and all it takes is being intentional every single day to who you are, to your highest good and what your ultimate vision is. If it feels good to you, there’s a reason why and you should always chase your dreams. I am a huge advocate for taking messy action for doing what feels good because there is a reason why God gave you that gift. There is a reason why that vision was given to you and if you don’t chase it, and don’t lean into it, you are not serving God, you are not serving the universe or whatever you believe in. You are not doing what God put you on this earth to do if it doesn’t feel good to you and if it does not bring you joy.

My new business.

My business is called Next Level Magic, and it is a 6-week course that walks women through these steps of rewriting their beliefs. The first week we implement a gratitude practice, the second week we focus on balance, the third week we really dive into uprooting their subconscious and recognizing their limiting beliefs, another week we focus on meditation, manifestation, and finally how to elevate your frequency.

“When we play too small we are not doing anybody on this earth any good. . .”

One piece of advice I’d like to give to The Boudoir Studio and that I give to every single one of my clients is “Be you and own the fuck out of it”. Whatever it is that defines who you are and makes you happy. . . be that! Be that person, so big and so bold. I think that sometimes we wonder, “Oh, am I too much?” Or “Am I playing too big?” Sometimes we have the tendency to play the opposite and we play too small. When we play too small we are not doing anybody on this earth any good. Because God or this universe gave us this gift, it is meant to impact other people. When we walk into our true authentic self, show up, present ourselves to the world, and who we really are, that is when everything falls into pure alignment and so many other things just start to happen. This happened to me. Before mentoring I had this massive fear of being myself. I put myself into this box where “I have to be this perfect cookie-cutter image of fitness and wellness,” and that is all fine and good on social media but the reality of my life was nothing but fine and good. If I had just shared that from the start, and been who I really am, I probably would have seen a lot more success earlier in my life.

Boudoir Session Veteran

I walked in the first time a nervous wreck, wondering what it was going to be like, what if I don’t like how the pictures were going to turn out? I just had no idea what to expect and then the last 20 minutes of my photo session, I literally did a nude shoot! When I left I felt like a total badass, totally empowered, and I thought to myself, Oh my god, other women need to know that boudoir photography doesn’t have to be like icky. In reality it was really empowering and beautiful.

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When I walked in the second time, I totally opted for the hair and makeup because I really wanted to go “all-out”. I was so excited and felt so confident, I am living my best single life right now and I am in no hurry to get into a relationship but at the same time. . . I feel like someone else really needs to see these images. They are amazing! At the same time, because I did a boudoir session “just for me,” I didn’t have to worry about impressing anyone or giving them to anyone in particular.

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New Business, New Me

Andrea did such an incredible job of bringing my vision to life. I really wanted this mix of country, gangster, hippy. I wanted to encapsulate all of me in my branding images. Every time I post these images I am reliving it and they are just so perfect. I could not have captured it better if I had done them myself.

Check out Jes Lyn’s Next Level Magic Business at http://jes-lyn.mykajabi.com

Wonder Woman: Messy to Mindset Master